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Something old, nothing new in ‘The Fabulous Four’
For the precious few fans of the recent senior citizen comedy “Summer Camp” here comes more of the same over-65 chicanery in “The Fabulous Four.” It’s basically the identical premise: a contrived gathering of gal pals of a certain age reuniting for a fun-filled frolic involving sex toys, vomit and airing ancient grievances. Oh, yes, the two flicks have one other thing in common – they both stink.
You’d be hard-pressed to pick the worse of the two. It’s sort of like comparing Charlie Manson with Jeffrey Dahmer. Either way, it’s murder. It’s also depressing witnessing Susan Sarandon, Bette Midler, Sheryl Lee Ralph and Megan Mullally humiliate themselves in service to a script by the team of Ann Marie Allison and Jenna Milly that trades heavily on golden-ager stereotypes.
It begins with the announcement that wealthy widow Marilyn (Midler) is getting hitched to a man she met mere months earlier in her new hometown of Key West. To mark the occasion, Marilyn invites her BFFs, Kitty (Ralph) and Alice (Mullally), to be bridesmaids. Absent the guest list is Lou (Sarandon), a hot-shot Manhattan heart surgeon who had a falling-out with Marilyn back in college when the latter stole the love of Lou’s life.
Kitty and Alice seek to mend this decades-long feud by tricking Lou into accompanying them to Key West by telling her she’s won one of the world-famous six-toed cats residing on the grounds of the city’s historic Ernest Hemingway residence. Lou may be a highly educated sawbones, but she’s gullible enough to fall for the ploy. So, off we go, empty cat caddy in tow. Let the septuagenarian shenanigans begin.
To her credit, Aussie director Jocelyn Moorhouse keeps the antics coming at a crisp pace, capitalizing on the mastery of four huge talents who share an Oscar, three Emmys and dozens of nominations among them. But why are they repeatedly called on to make fools of themselves? Moorhouse and her frequent collaborators, Allison and Milly, seem unmindful to the legendary status of these grand dames, characterizing them as dumb, sex-crazed, or both.
Sure, there are moments of poignancy whenever the script accentuates the value of longtime friendships. But more often, it sinks to a base level by reducing Lou and Marilyn to fisticuffs and Alice to various sex acts in a broom closet. Seriously? And don’t get me started on the paragliding disaster touched off when Lou ingests too many of the edibles Kitty mass-produces out of her kitchen – to the great disapproval of her Bible-thumping daughter.
Speaking of daughters, Midler manages to wangle hers into the picture, with Sophie von Haselberg playing her on-screen offspring in an early throwaway scene before completely disappearing. The obvious nepotism is certainly preferable to the intrusive omnipresence of the film’s Greek chorus of twenty-something vacationers played by Abigail Dolan, David Goren and Renika Williams. Lou meets them on the plane to Miami and they mystifyingly pop up and trail along throughout the movie. Why are they here? They certainly aren’t funny.
They could learn something, though, from the scenes requiring Sarandon’s Lou to demurely flirt with a couple of silver foxes in Bruce Greenwood’s local bar owner, Ted, and Timothy V. Murphy as Ernie, a fellow MD who moonlights as a Hemingway-quoting boat captain for hire. These also happen to be the best scenes in the movie. But they are cut short to allow for more alleged “zaniness,” much of it dubiously shilling for TikTok. Wouldn’t you know it that Marilyn happens to be a social influencer, as are the tag-along kiddos.
The ultimate objective, I suppose, is to show women in their 60s and 70s to be as viable and adventurous as the young’uns. Terrific! Let them recapture their vida loca. But why do they have to act like imbeciles in the process? More so, why does everything need to be so obvious and unoriginal? That means trips to the bridal shop, a bachelorette party in a strip club and a prenuptial dinner in which the movie’s long-telegraphed “big twist” is finally revealed.
At least the actual wedding will be fab, right? Don’t count on it. It’s as flat and predictable as any scene that precedes it. Still, Key West looks picturesque, even though the majority of the film was shot in Savannah. Close enough, or so they believe. In some way it’s an apt metaphor for a picture that veers so far off course it forgets where it is. For them, it’s Key West. But for us it’s hell.
Movie review
The Fabulous Four
Rated: R for drug use, some sexual material and language
Cast: Susan Sarandon, Bette Midler, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Megan Mullally and Bruce Greenwood
Director: Jocelyn Moorhouse
Writers: Ann Marie Allison and Jenna Milly
Runtime: 98 minutes
Where: In theaters July 26
Grade: C-
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