‘Uninvited’ is a Hollywood party you’ll want to skip
If you’re up for a swanky Hollywood Hills party attended by stars past, present and future, you might want to crash “The Uninvited.” But be prepared to be inundated with pretentious guests signifying “types” rather than true-to-life people. These include the ingénue, the coke-sniffing British thespian, the alcoholic Latin lothario, the unctuous talent agent, his washed-up actress wife, and the titular confused nonagenarian film industry vet who arrives, well, uninvited.
Comprising this collection of walking, talking clichés are an impressive roster of B-listers, such as Elizabeth Reaser, Rufus Sewell, Lois Smith, Pedro Pascal and Walton Goggins, whose wife, Nadia Conners, is responsible for writing and directing this well-meaning treatise on ageism, sexism and just about any ism associated with the rich and self-absorbed.
Your hostess is Reaser’s Rose, a once sought-after actress whose phone stopped ringing once she crossed the threshold into 40. Her final role, it seems, is as wife – to showbiz agent husband, Sammy (Goggins) – and mother – to young son, Wilder (Roland Rubio). It’s an OK gig, but she’s not ready to exit the limelight unless she can do so on her terms.
Alas, her fate is more likely to mirror that of Smith’s Helen, the memory-challenged ex-star who – in a remarkable bit of timing – mistakenly pulls into the drive of Rose and Sammy’s Spanish-style mansion just as their VIP guests begin trickling in. Helen is convinced that this is her home and that Sammy is her husband, who also just happens to be named Sammy. What are the odds? Rose, overruling Sammy’s vehement objections, invites Helen inside. And while the intruder is otherwise occupied, Rose unearths an address book from the woman’s handbag and contacts a person in La Jolla to come fetch Helen.
In the interim, Sammy is worried the old woman will kill the vibe of his dual-purpose shindig at which he plans to persuade his top two clients, Sewell’s Gerald and Pascal’s Lucien, to join him in a new venture that includes Della (Eva De Dominici), a rising star Sammy is seeking to steer toward his casting couch. And he has a right to stress because Helen is somewhat wise to him and his smarmy behavior.
Adding to this stilted intrigue is the fact that Lucien and Rose are former paramours and shared a passion that was never entirely extinguished. Sammy knows the threat Lucien presents being back in his wife’s presence, but he tries to overlook the fact he was Rose’s second choice because he really, really needs to win his rival’s favor.
Thus, the stage (literally, because Conners’ script is an adaptation of her play) is set for a series of unforeseen crises that rarely unfold organically. But then, little about “The Uninvited” feels genuine. The clunky dialogue is expository, the mannerisms are exaggerated and the countless coincidences are uncanny.
You do value the message Conners attempts to convey about how age, particularly for women, can be an unwelcome guest, like Helen, that can’t be turned away. Reaser is excellent at expressing Rose’s frustration with hearing voicemails informing her she’s “too old to play the mother of a 6-year-old,” even though she IS the mother of a 6-year-old. And when she looks in the mirror, she only sees the imperfections, not the gorgeous, sexy creature we – and Lucien – still very much appreciate.
Then there are the double standards – hardly exclusive to Hollywood – namely how it’s tacitly acceptable for men to sleep around, but when women do it, it earns them a scarlet “A.” But not much of it resonates, mainly because we’ve been exposed to these issues in a multitude of bigger, better movies. The only element remotely worthy of reiteration is Conners’ well-executed reminder of how men tend to take their spouse for granted, unappreciative of all they do in their marquee role as mother and commander of a household that would go under entirely in days, if not hours, without them at the helm.
But her message often gets lost amid a plethora of lame jokes and alleged comical situations. None of it is funny, which prompts the question of why Conners didn’t just fully tap the wealth of dramatic possibilities available to her. Her script grows so silly at times that I kept expecting Helen to amble into the home’s alluring outdoor pool. And did Conners expect the masses to relate to these wealthy bozos and their trendy party amenities, such as a photo booth manned by a turban-wearing shutterbug (Michael Panes) to capture “the aura” of everyone at the soirée?
No doubt, these have been Conners’ experiences as a Hollywood insider, but why would we be interested? The truth is, we aren’t. We can barely sort out our own set of problems, let alone take time to empathize with her petty woes. And because of that, this party crash is more than a mere mishap. It’s a total wreck.
Movie review
The Uninvited
Rated: R for language throughout and drug use
Cast: Elizabeth Reaser, Walton Goggins, Rufus Sewell, Lois Smith, Pedro Pascal and Eva De Dominici
Director: Nadia Conners
Writer: Nadia Conners
Runtime: 97 minutes
Where: In theaters April 11 (limited)
Grade: C-
