Christmas arrives early through gift of ‘Baltimorons’
Charm is a word that film critics throw around willy-nilly, but in the case of Jay Duplass’s solo directing debut, “The Baltimorons,” the term is tailor-made. Because that’s what this early Christmas gift, brought to you fittingly from Charm City, exudes in abundance. To go on to proclaim it as magical and transformative would not be hyperbole, but an apt description of a film that so completely knocks you off your feet.
On paper, it’s just a wisp of a thing in which a young recovering alcoholic and a jaded middle-aged dentist embark on an impromptu, episodic, Christmas Eve odyssey that brings them face to face with their respective demons. But in execution, “The Baltimorons” is a breezy, profoundly moving experience that, for 96 too-short minutes, sweeps you away into a world of romance and adventure that never seems anything less than authentic.
Much of the credit for that goes to Duplass and his co-writer, Michael Strassner, who’ve lovingly crafted a low-budget gem that genuinely inspires you to savor and embrace life’s most serendipitous moments. For they can literally save your life, if you open yourself up to them the way Cliff (Strassner) and Didi (Tony-nominee Liz Larsen) do when a chance meeting unleashes a whirlwind of pent-up emotions.
It starts with a chipped tooth, but that’s hardly the only thing that’s broken in the lives of these two disparate people whose existence has been marked by chronic disappointment. They don’t realize it at first, but each is a mirror reflecting the other’s regret and unfulfillment. And each holds the key to unlocking the part of their psyche where martyrdom and self-loathing have taken up residence.
Not only do they free each other, but they also create a catharsis for the viewer. I don’t recall ever encountering Strassner and Larsen as actors, but I can assure you I will never forget them. That’s how impactful they are in fleshing out characters who slowly but surely grow on you.
The corpulent and unkempt Strassner has the easiest entry to your heart, instantly disarming you with a convincing sad sack persona, stemming in part from a failed suicide attempt depicted in the picture’s opening scene. In snippets, we glean the series of traumas that led Cliff to take that desperate measure, most of them related to his two passions: alcohol and comedy improv. Since trading both in for sobriety and a potential new career as a mortgage broker, he’s even more despondent. It’s a change for the worse, and disregarded by his nag of a fiancée, Brittany (Olivia Luccardi), who’s made Cliff swear he’ll never set foot inside another comedy club.
Sheepishly, he dares to ask Brittany if it would be OK for him to – just this once – go and see an old pal (Rob Phoenix) perform that night, vowing not to imbibe or take the stage. “No way,” she responds. Besides, they are spending Christmas Eve with her mother. But fate steps in when the ungainly Cliff stumbles when entering his future in-law’s Baltimore home. He chips a tooth, and while gripping a white washcloth between his jaws to staunch the considerable bleeding, he frantically searches for a DDS open and willing to patch him up.
He finds such a Samaritan in Larsen’s Didi, who provides a temporary fix. But upon exiting her office, he notices his vintage white Cadillac has been towed. Reluctantly, she offers him a ride to the impound lot. On the way there, it’s clear she’d rather be anywhere else. But the more he showers her with awkward compliments, the more she thaws. Besides, he’s helping her forget that her daughter (Jessie Cohen) and granddaughter (Zoe Strassner) won’t be spending Christmas Eve with her as planned.
The girls, it seems, have decided instead to attend the wedding reception for Didi’s ex, Conway (Brian Mendes), and his new, much younger bride, Patty (Mary Catherine Garrison). And with Cliff in no hurry to return to Brittany and her well-intentioned harping, he invites Didi to dinner, thus touching off an eventful journey involving a few minor felonies and a big F.U. to Didi’s ex. Through it all, you remain enthralled by Strassner and Larsen. Not only do the two of them ignite chemistry together, but they feel like folks you’d love to share a beer with.
Despite their nearly 20-year age difference, the two perfectly cast actors make for an adorable couple. And the Baltimore backdrop proves an ideal character unto itself, from its touristy waterfront to its seedier sides, like Cherry Hill, to its tonier neighborhoods, such as Inner Harbor. It’s all marvelously shot by Jon Bregel, establishing an irresistible atmosphere of grittiness and enchantment that fills you with wonder and joy.
Just don’t go labeling it a rom-com. It far transcends that genre to distinguish itself as an indelibly human story in which two strangers enable a chance meeting to evolve into a life-altering experience. Duplass wisely leaves it for us to decide what happens next in Cliff and Didi’s lives. And although you rue the moment we bid them farewell, you’re grateful to have spent however brief a time with characters you not only grow to love, but take comfort in knowing exist, even if it’s only on screen. You most assuredly will be charmed. And trust me, that’s no exaggeration.
Movie review
The Baltimorons
Rated: R for language
Cast: Michael Strassner, Liz Larsen and Olivia Luccardi
Director: Jay Duplass
Writers: Jay Duplass and Michael Strassner
Runtime: 96 minutes
Where: In theaters Sept. 5 (limited), expanding Sept. 12 and 19
Grade: A-
