The sex is great, but the story less so in ‘Bone Lake’
Male-female relationships can be a horror in themselves. So, imagine how much more fraught they become when the knives literally come out, as they do in the shamelessly entertaining “Bone Lake.” Before it’s over, blood and secrets will be spilled in equal measure inside a posh Airbnb that’s been “accidentally” double-booked.
First on the scene are Sage (Maddie Hasson) and Diego (Marco Pigossi), a couple of stodgy literary types on the verge of taking the next step after having been an item since college. But after a short session of mechanical sex, their post-coital glow is rudely interrupted by the sudden appearance of Will (Alex Roe) and Cin (Andra Nechita), two predatory horndogs who immediately sniff raw meat.
You and I would be on the phone pronto with our travel agent. Not Sage and Diego. They figure the more the merrier. Big mistake. It doesn’t take much imagination to predict where this wild weekend is headed. Before they know what hit them, Diego is selecting which panties Cin should wear and Sage is ogling Will in the outdoor shower. Can their love survive such wanton temptation? More importantly, can they survive – period? Not if Will and Cin have anything to say about it.
Director Mercedes Bryce Morgan seductively bathes the march to the inevitable in palpable lust, taking full advantage of the erotic chemistry generated by her attractive cast. But that’s pretty much the extent of her sex-obsessed adaptation of Joshua Friedlander’s unimaginative script. Every scene carries some sort of sexual interaction or innuendo and little else.
We do sense passive aggression undertones in Sage’s frequent gripes about having to support Diego as he ditches his community college teaching gig for a shot at writing “the great American novel.” Like us, she’s decidedly skeptical after hearing Diego describe the plot, which includes a masked fiend chasing a couple through the woods piercing the man’s exposed testicles with an arrow. “Too gratuitous,” Sage correctly opines. And Cin is equally on the money when she suggests Diego needs a new muse. A position she’d love to fill, being she’s soooo hot for teacher.
What she sees in Diego, other than that silky Latin accent, is a mystery. Just ask Sage. She’s so bored with Diego’s lovemaking she’s deriving her satisfaction by pointing the bathtub’s Jetstream on her privates. And you can guess whom she’s fantasizing about while in the throes. Understandable, considering Will is a class-A hunk, whose lascivious come-ons prove too electrifying for a mousy book editor to resist. Diego has apparently caught the fever, too, left tongue-tied every time Cin sensually brushes up against him in her barely there outfits.
The sex games are admittedly fun and well-staged, but there are far too many holes in Friedlander’s script to take any of it seriously. Why, for example, would Sage and Diego rent an expansive lakeside mansion if they’re as broke as Sage claims? There’s an even more implausible element that I cannot reveal, but it concerns how the home’s owners go about selecting their clients. But even if that made a lick of sense, “Bone Lake” would still be hampered by its ridiculous (excuse the expression) climax in which our gentile vacationers suddenly turn into blood-splattered killing machines.
Will anyone be left standing? Will Diego ever get to slip his grandmother’s ring onto Sage’s finger? And what about that novel? Will it be mercifully put out of its misery? Trust me, the answers are less than rewarding. But as much as I hate to admit it, I found the inherent silliness to be oddly entertaining. I even laughed aloud once or twice. Still, there’s no shaking the belief that “Bone Lake” could have been so much better.
Missed is the golden opportunity to dig deeper into how the pitfalls of romance are as dangerous as sharing a house with psychopaths. I’d prefer that over the clichéd rampage marring the preposterous third act. In the end, we’re left to ponder if unbridled desire is more powerful than Cupid’s arrow. I don’t know the answer, but let’s pray that when the cherub lets it fly, his bow isn’t targeting anyone’s testicles. Ouch! Who says love doesn’t hurt?
Movie review
Bone Lake
Rated: R for strong bloody violence, sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout, grisly images, some drug use
Cast: Maddie Hasson, Marco Pigossi, Alex Roe and Andra Nechita
Director: Mercedes Bryce Morgan
Writer: Joshua Friedlander
Runtime: 96 minutes
Where: In theaters Oct. 3
Grade: B-
