Insipid ‘Woman in Cabin 10’ is a boatload of inanity
At the risk of violating proper “yachtiquette,” allow me to declare the Netflix adaptation of Ruth Ware’s mystery novel, “The Woman in Cabin 10,” a faux pas of the higest degree. A cheesy knockoff of Hitchcock’s “The Lady Vanishes,” it sinks in an ocean of preposterousness, as Keira Knightley’s renowned journalist, Laura Blacklock, makes waves after swearing she witnessed a woman tossed overboard during a charity cruise.
Yet, all evidence indicates she was either dreaming or overindulging on champagne. But we know she’s right, mainly because we’ve seen this movie before. So, it’s up to director Simon Stone (“The Dig”) and his two co-writers, Joe Shrapnel & Anna Waterhouse, to keep us engaged as the mega-yacht owned by shipping billionaire Anna Lyngstad chugs toward the picturesque fjords of her native Norway.
In so doing, they leave no cliché unexploited in depicting a vast conspiracy to gaslight Laura, aka Lo, a “journo” famed for “giving voice to the voiceless.” From the unctuous ship’s doctor (Art Malik) to the strident head of security, Sigrid (“Ted Lasso” Emmy-winner Hannah Waddingham), to Anna’s conniving husband, Richard Bullmer (Guy Pearce), all are committed to convincing Lo she did not see what she saw.
The problem is that none of it makes a lick of sense. Nor does it seem the least bit plausible, particularly a plot twist that requires everyone on board to either be blind or possess the worst facial recognition known to man. The acting is even worse, as a top-notch cast simply goes through the motions, fighting the urge to yawn while delivering clunky dialogue that often contradicts itself.
Knightley, all pinched up and righteous, is the worst. But Pearce is a close second. He follows up his Oscar-nominated work in “The Brutalist” with some weak tea as the overtly villainous husband committed to foiling his dying wife’s wish to donate her entire fortune to destitute cancer patients. But you could hardly blame the cast for phoning it in, given the limpness of a script that bears little resemblance to Ware’s page-turner.
The only elements aligning with the novel are the setting and Lo ruffling the feathers of the rich and infamous. The rest has been completely jettisoned, including Lo’s struggles with alcohol, depression and PTSD. Her neglectful boyfriend, Judah, has been excised and replaced by a flame from “two disasters” ago. That would be photojournalist Ben Morgan (David Ajala), who just happens to be on this voyage. What were the odds?
Lo’s biggest beef with him is that his rare Japanese vinyl collection is “cluttering up” her London flat. But as a low-rent Idris Elba, Ajala knows how to summon the charm the role requires, but he’s ultimately as two-dimensional as the rest of the lot. Of course, being the only Black guest aboard, you can pretty much summon the coroner in advance. We’re going to miss you, Ben. But not as much as we miss the Simon Stone who gave us “The Dig,” one of the finest films of 2021.
Here, he encounters nothing but choppy seas, failing to create the mystery and intrigue you’d expect from an Agatha Christie wannabe. What he delivers is so blah and nondescript that anyone could have directed it. At least the yacht looks fabulous, one of the most eye-catching examples of wealth porn you’ll witness. It’s infinitely more interesting than the story taking place aboard it in the serene waters off that Norwegian mainstay, Quebec!. As you’d expect, the ship features multiple levels, with “The Woman in Cabin 10” taking up residence where she belongs – on the poop deck.
Movie review
The Woman in Cabin 10
Rated: Not rated
Cast: Keira Knightley, Guy Pearce, Hannah Waddingham, David Morrissey, Art Malik and David Ajala
Director: Simon Stone
Writers: Joe Shrapnel & Anna Waterhouse and Simon Stone
Runtime: 92 minutes
Where: Premieres on Netflix Oct. 10
Grade: D
