‘Unstoppable’ travels a ‘Rocky’ road to dullsville
It’s hard not to think of “Barton Fink” and Michael Lerner’s blustery, wrestling-obsessed studio boss Jack Lipnick while suffering through a gauntlet of sports-movie cliches in the highly mechanized “Unstoppable.” “Look Bart,” Lipnick says to John Turturro’s aspiring screenwriter, “barring any preference, we’re going to put you to work on a wrestling picture. … Wally Beery is a wrestler. I wanna know his hopes, his dreams.”
One can imagine that pitch repeated in the offices of Amazon MGM, where a trio of Barton Finks was called upon to write Jeff Bezos (bankroller of the forthcoming $40 million Melania Trump documentary) a wrestling picture about a one-legged collegiate national champion … “his hopes, his dreams.”
The triumvirate of Eric Champnella, Alex Harris and John Hindman obediently comply. I can even envision them brainstorming ideas: Black teen, abusive stepfather, financially strapped, works nights washing airplanes while going to school by day, repeatedly underestimated, silences doubters with his exploits on the mat. Oh, and give him a hot mother who looks like Jennifer Lopez to be his fiercest, most vociferous supporter.
That’s “Unstoppable” in a nutshell. Thank God, the climactic championship bout between the GOAT and the disabled lad doesn’t take place in Philadelphia, preceded by an ascent up the steps of the Museum of Art where our underdog hero turns and takes in the city “Rocky”-style. Oh, what’s that? Those ingredients are here? Yikes!
I kid. And by no means would I intend to belittle the amazing accomplishments of Anthony Robles and his undefeated senior season at Arizona State, capped by a victory over the reigning national champion in the NCAA finals. No, my sarcasm is directed toward the “artists” who concocted such a lazy, unchallenging biopic. And then opted to drag it out for two hours. Talk about being locked in a stranglehold! Ouch!
It doesn’t help that “Unstoppable” arrives on the heels of Amazon’s superior counterpart, “The Fire Inside.” Just switch out a Black female boxer with a devoted coach for a Black disabled wrestler with a devoted coach. Both athletes emerge triumphant despite terrible home lives. I thought I was experiencing what Yogi Berra famously dubbed “deja vu all over again.”
Alas, “Moonlight’s” Jharrel Jerome is no match for “Fire’s” Ryan Destiny. He’s bland, uninspiring and incapable of expressing raw emotion. I was more fascinated by the trickery director William Goldenberg used to erase his star’s right leg. That’s the only thing Goldenberg, an editor by trade, gets right. His sense of pace, drama and performance are all severely lacking.
Lucky for he and Jerome, the film features a sparkling supporting cast that includes Michael Peña and Don Cheadle as Robles’ high school and college coaches, respectively. Both do wonders in fleshing out their stock, tough-love characters. Same for Bobby Cannavale as Robles’ verbally and physically abusive stepfather who never wastes an opportunity to remind Anthony that he’s “not his kid.” Cannavale is ravenous in his scenery chewing, and the film is all the better because of it.
Then there’s J.Lo. It’s kinda sad seeing her stuck in the role of the mother with a knack for falling for loathsome men. Her few scenes are memorable, but there’s no escaping the feeling that Goldenberg vastly underutilizes her through his failure to explore the unbreakable bond between mother and son. She’s basically reduced to ironing shirts, sustaining injuries inflicted by her prison guard husband and serving as Anthony’s resident cheerleader. Yet, she remains as much of an asset as the central Arizona locations.
None of it compares to the stultifying predictability on display. Even if you’re unfamiliar with Robles’ story – born without a right leg, abandoned by his birth father and in love with wrestling since age 6 – you’ll see every twist and turn coming. Worse, the filmmakers do nothing to educate us on the intricacies of wrestling in general, and even less to explain how Robles compensates strategically for his decided disadvantage on the mat.
That would take effort, something “Unstoppable” doesn’t reflect. It’s faithfully by the numbers, right down to the inevitable happy ending in which we’re provided updates on the progress of actual mother and son since Anthony won the NCAA 125-pound title in 2011. No question both are inspirational. Alas, this haphazard story of their lives is not. Quick, get me Barton Fink!
Movie review
Unstoppable
Rated: PG-13 for some strong language and thematic material
Cast: Jharrel Jerome, Jennifer Lopez, Bobby Cannavale, Don Cheadle and Michael Peña
Director: William Goldenberg
Writers: Eric Champnella, Alex Harris and John Hindman
Runtime: 123 minutes
Where: Premieres on Amazon Prime on Jan. 16
Grade: C
