Shallow ‘Deep’ should be thrown to the sharks
There are movies with ravenous man-eating sharks and movies with ruthless pirates, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen one that dared to combine the two. Well, not until I stumbled upon “Into the Deep,” a laughably misguided flick notable only because it features Richard Dreyfuss as a marine biologist specializing in the behavior patterns of great whites. Yes, it’s the exact same character he famously portrayed nearly 50 years ago in “Jaws.” Only this time you’re tempted to root for the sharks. And the pirates!
Besides feeling embarrassed for Dreyfuss, “Into the Deep” elicits countless eye rolls as it clumsily recounts the tale of Cassidy (Scout Taylor-Compton), a woman seeking to erase the memory of a shark chomping down on her father in the waters off Thailand. She was a little girl then, but the image of Dad becoming fish food has haunted her ever since, despite efforts by her sage Grandpa Shamus (Dreyfuss) to cure her fear of the fin.
Cue over a dozen flashbacks to what seems like an entire childhood spent seaside with Grandpa Shamus guiding her through a series of Zen activities that borrow heavily from the Mr. Miyagi “wax on, wax off” book of dime-store psychology. Cassidy obeys his every command, but she can’t shake her dad’s grisly end, which brings her back to Thailand and the same waters where Pops met his demise. She figures the only way to conquer her terror is to return to the scene of the brine and reach out and touch a great white on the snout. If a half-dozen other people accompanying her meet the same fate as her father, so be it. It’s all about Cassidy.
It’s in the midst of this healing experience that she and her fellow divers board a ship helmed by Capt. Daemon Benz (Stuart Townsend) that soon runs afoul of the aforementioned pirates, ruled by the murderous Jordan Devane (Jon Seda). Seeking to harvest a treasure trove of illicit drugs deposited in air-tight crates on the ocean floor, Jordan figures why risk his crew to the shark-infested waters when his newly minted hostages will do just as well recovering the booty.
Let the bloodletting begin. Director Christian Sesma makes good on a “zoomaitarian” pledge that no shark shall go hungry, as Cassidy’s chums become chum on the ocean red, one by one. And for a dash of T&A, Sesma shoots the many underwater scenes from the perspective of a horny old man ogling the shapely behinds of Cassidy and her new gal pal, Nancy (AnnaMaria Demara), whose teeny bikini bottom is seemingly wedged permanently between her cheeks. Almost forgotten in this shark smorgasbord is Cassidy’s lame-o husband, Gregg (Callum McGowan), out to prove the great whites are indeed widow-makers.
“Into the Deep” is nothing if not predictable in addition to being unintentionally hilarious. I swear there were times I laughed until I cried. Be it the stilted dialogue, the rampant stupidity of the characters, or the ridiculous premise of going all Certs on us by offering us two, two tropes in one. Are you not entertained?
Yes, but not in the way Sesma and co-writers Chad Law and Josh Ridgway had hoped. Sesma states in his film’s press notes that it was his goal to derive “a little bit of poetry in Cassidy’s survival with an ending message of hope and trusting in one’s inner strength.” Sorry, not happening. What is on display is one of the worst B movies in recent memory, so idiotic even its voracious sharks wouldn’t swallow it.
Movie review
Into the Deep
Rated: R for bloody violence and language
Cast: Scout Taylor-Compton, Richard Dreyfuss, Stuart Townsend, Jon Seda and AnnaMaria Demara
Director: Christian Sesma
Writer: Chad Law and Josh Ridgway
Runtime: 89 minutes
Where: In theaters and on demand Jan. 24
Grade: D-
