Colorless ‘Green and Gold’ fails to yield empathy
I would not be surprised if “Green and Gold” makes as quick an exit from theaters as its beloved Green Bay Packers made from this season’s NFL playoffs. Like the 2024 Pack, it’s weak up front, lacks depth and fades down the stretch. But I’d prefer watching another embarrassing Packers loss to the Bears than suffering through the schmaltzy “Green and Gold.”
Appropriately brought to you by the marketing folks at Culver’s, the movie is empty-calorie fast food for beleaguered souls hankering to savor the last morsels of the Agrarian Myth. It stars Craig T. Nelson as Buck, the aged patriarch of a long line of Wisconsin dairy farmers whose spread is about to be foreclosed upon by a villainous banker (Tim Frank) straight out of central casting. But the suit isn’t all bad. He actually shows an iota of compassion, breaking multiple federal laws by staking his bank’s assets on a foolhardy wager that will grant Buck a one-year grace period on his mortgage if the sainted Packers triumph in the Super Bowl.
The movie is set in the 1990s, so the odds of winning the bet aren’t as long as they would be now. After all, future Hall of Fame QB Brett Favre was still in his prime and free of the scandals (dick pics and volleyball arenas) that have tarnished his once sterling reputation. Albeit preposterous, the premise cooked up by a quartet of writers is a winning one, ripe for comedic opportunities. But they regrettably go untapped by director Anders Lindwall, himself the offspring of a Wisconsin dairy farmer.
Perhaps it’s those ties that impel him to pile on the cheese in a flick fueled by bushels of corn, ranging from Buck’s granddaughter, Jenny (Madison Lawlor), willing to sacrifice her budding singing career to save the farm, to the “Pay It Forward” ending promoting the idealized notion of neighbor helping neighbor. Pardon the pun, but it’s udder nonsense. But that doesn’t stop Lindwall from milking it. OK, I’ll stop.
What irks you most about “Green and Gold” is its overreliance on quirk, like Buck’s insistence on farming the old-fashioned, unmechanized way, and his penchant for naming his cows in tribute to Packer greats, like Bart Starr and Jerry Kramer. And to prove he respects the opposition, he bestows the moniker Mike Ditka on his finest swine.
As you might expect, where there are cows, there is a lot of bull, as Lindwall plays up the positive stereotypes of hearty Midwestern types who place their faith in God, family, country and the Packers. Everyone is close-knit, except for the banker, Jerry, whose vanity plate on his vintage Camaro fittingly reads, “a-hole.” Oh, and this Billy Reed guy (Martin Sheen look-alike Brandon Sklenar), a city boy cowboy singer who’s been filling Jenny’s head with dreams of a music career.
What’s his deal, other than coming off as dull and two-dimensional as the rest of an ensemble that includes the late M. Emmet Walsh in his final role and prominent stage actress Annabel Armour as Buck’s accident-prone, potty-mouthed wife, Margaret. These are solid actors, especially Nelson, who’s proven his mettle on “Coach” and as the super superhero in Pixar’s “The Incredibles.” So, I suspect Lindwall is responsible for all the languid performances.
He does a credible job of capturing the Midwestern aesthetic of wide-open fields worked by stalwart individuals who fight and don’t give in until the clock runs out. But he and his fellow writers haven’t a clue about how to pen material compelling enough to shake off the indifference displayed by a populace no longer invested in the grand illusions of the American farmer. All it seems to want are cheaper eggs. Not God-fearing Cheeseheads.
Movie review
Green and Gold
Rated: PG
Cast: Craig T. Nelson, Madison Lawlor, Brandon Sklenar, M. Emmet Walsh and Annabel Armour
Director: Anders Lindwall
Writers: Anders Lindwall, Steven Shafer, Michael Graf and Missy Mareau Garcia
Runtime: 95 minutes
Where: In theaters Jan. 31 (limited)
Grade: C-
