Italian-set ‘Solo Mio’ is less than al dente
It’s set in Rome, but there’s a whole lot of bologna in the flavorless cold cut that’s “Solo Mio.” Everything about this unfunny rom-com feels phony and phoned-in, from Kevin James’s unengaging lead performance to the erratic writing and directing by four of the seven brothers comprising Rhode Island’s Kinnane clan.
You might say it’s a case of too many Kinnane cooks in the kitchen, as directors Charles and Daniel struggle to wring charm from a script composed by siblings Patrick and John, with an assist from Mr. James, who last collaborated with the Ocean Staters on the even worse “Home Team.” Contrived, derivative and overplotted, “Solo Mio” unwisely attempts to mold a miscast James into a jilted groom who improbably catches the eyes of not just one but two significantly younger signorinas.
The gags, if you want to call them that, are largely rooted in the ol’ fish-out-of-water scenario in which the nebbish American struggles to fully comprehend the language and customs, much to the amusement of a host of locals doubling as Italian stereotypes. Chief among them is Nicole Grimaudo as Gia, the sexy and single proprietor of a quaint caffè just around the corner from the hotel that James’s Matt Taylor planned to spend his honeymoon with his fiancee, Heather (Julie Ann Emery), until she left him stranded at the altar.
Gia, a 40ish pixie dream beauty, seems to gravitate toward her troubled customers, offering them advice and a shoulder to cry on, including Matt, whom she takes a special liking to. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. He’s not handsome, funny, clever, or romantic. He mostly mopes and hangs his head, feeling sorry for himself. Yet, Gia zeroes in on him, despite their nearly two-decade age difference. And so does another young lady, this one heavily inebriated, who belts him after he rejects her amorous designs.
As is the rule with these things, Matt comes equipped with a Greek chorus of supporters from the same wedding travel package he and Heather purchased. They include Meghan (Alyson Hannigan) and Julian (Kim Coates), who are beginning their third marriage after two divorces, and Neil (Jonathan Roumie), a physical therapist who wed his psychiatric therapist, Donna (Julee Cerda). The four urge Matt to go solo on the group honeymoon, which he does. And at Julian’s request, Gia drops everything to join them.
The rest pretty much writes itself, slavishly adhering to the rom-com formula right down to the third-act breakup and out-of-the-blue reconciliation seconds before the credits roll. Even at 95 minutes, “Solo Mio” feels labored and repetitive. Nothing interesting happens, except for a couple of underwhelming cameos, which an NDA issued by the film’s distributor, Angel Studio, has sworn me not to disclose.
I’m not sure, but I think I’m allowed to reveal that James and the radiant Grimaudo have zero chemistry. Ditto for their four bland co-stars, including Hannigan, who is normally a guaranteed source of riotous humor. Not here. But I have absolutely no beef with the scrumptious cinematography by Jared Fadel, always making the most of the locations in and around Roma. And don’t get me started on how viscerally he whets the palate, deliciously capturing all that yummy wine and pasta. Squisito!
Alas, it’s all in service of an unappetizing film that values aesthetics and glitz over richly drawn characters. All these people, including Matt, are walking, talking clichés shoehorned into a jumbled series of stilted sketches with no discernible connective tissue. If you’re really in the mood for a romance that is authentically representative of the Eternal City, rent or stream “Roman Holiday.” Now, that’s amore!
Movie review
Solo Mio
Rated: PG
Cast: Kevin James, Nicole Grimaudo, Alyson Hannigan, Kim Coates, Jonathan Roumie, Julee Cerda and Julie Ann Emery
Director: Charles Francis and Daniel Kinnane
Writer: Patrick & John Kinnane and Kevin James
Runtime: 95 minutes
Where: In theaters Feb. 6 (limited)
Grade: C
