Inane ‘Buddy’ rapidly runs short of laughs

     He’s a big, deranged, narcissistic orange know-it-all who separates children from their parents and throws hissy fits when not receiving the praise he thinks he deserves. Remind you of anyone? Of course, I’m talking about Buddy, the hulking tangerine unicorn hosting the “Barney”-like educational TV show that teaches the kiddos basic responsibilities and social skills. Who did you think I was talking about?

   If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Casper Kelly was using “Buddy,” his satirical horror provocation, to make a thinly veiled political statement. But, no, it’s just another ho-hum slasher flick whose, excuse the expression, stabs at humor are decidedly hit or miss. But his black heart is certainly in the right place in poking fun at the smarminess of shows like “Barney & Friends” that feature impossibly genial anthropomorphic creatures using song and dance to convey tidy, optimistic messages about how to be a Do Bee.

    Where he and co-writer Jamie King (not the “Pearl Harbor” actress) run into trouble is not knowing when to say when, with material better suited to short form than a repetitive 95-minute slog. The first 30 minutes are highly effective as we’re introduced to Buddy and his array of secondary characters that include a rainbow coalition of robotic tweeners you’d swear were brainwashed automatons, just like on “Barney.” Then one recalcitrant brat (Luke Speakman) has the gall to spoil everything by daring to defy Buddy’s order to dance on cue.

     The lad’s sudden disappearance from the hermetically sealed world goes largely unnoticed by his co-stars, except for a highly suspicious Freddy (Delaney Quinn), who accidentally spots the dead boy’s favorite novel inside a trash bin, its pages coated in blood. When Buddy learns that Freddy has ratted him out to Nurse Nancy (Phuong Kubacki), all hell breaks loose, as the sardonic unicorn unleashes his instruments of death, sending the terrified kids over the fence fleeing for their lives.

     If the film had ended there, I’d have been totally thumbs up. But, no, Kelly (“V/H/S Halloween”) feels the need to begin what initially seems like a completely new movie, one about a disgruntled wife and mother who senses something is off with her family. You’re perplexed, attempting to understand how it connects to Buddy. But you spend the next 20 or so minutes intrigued by the mental deterioration of Grace (Cristin Milioti), who screams hysterically at an empty dining room chair. Her husband, Ben (Topher Grace), and their two sons think she’s having a nervous breakdown, especially when she summons a psychic to conduct a séance.

     Then, just when you’re into the flow, Kelly jarringly switches up again, this time to perform a parody of the classic “Night of the Hunter,” with Buddy combing the forest for three escapees that include Freddy, Oliver (Tristan Borders) and the new girl, Hannah (Madison Skyy Polan). Between Buddy’s pleas for them to come out, come out wherever you are, the trio is approached by Willie (voiced by Michael Shannon), a loquacious dummy, and his creepy, mostly silent ventriloquist pal, George (Clint Howard).

     This is where the film really lost me, with its suggestions that George is a child molester who uses butterscotch candy to drug the kids. Can someone get me a responsible adult? Sure enough, up pops Grace, who’s crawled through her TV to replace the ill-fated Nurse Nancy back at Buddy’s compound. What? This is getting ridiculous. And there’s still another 20 minutes or so to go. And Kelly uses the remaining time to construct a bloodbath that includes beheadings, impalings and another dead child, this one gobbled up alive by Buddy.

    Some may find this funny, but I thought it kinda sick and demented. And what exactly is the point? A confusing, out-of-left-field ending only compounds the disorientation. The only thing that keeps you mildly attentive is the superior voice work by Keegan-Michael Key as Buddy. His high-pitched tone and deadpan delivery are pure artistry. But in service of what?

     More than anything else, what’s the incentive to poke fun at a TV show that’s been off the air for nearly two decades? The timing is completely askew. So is the tone. And where is the cleverness in making light of children being offed? I did admire how Freddy turns the tables on Buddy by throwing his catchphrase, “You’ve got to be scared to be brave,” back in his face.

    In that respect, “Buddy” succeeds in honoring children’s resilience and resourcefulness. I also appreciate how Kelly and King nail the plasticity of the boys and girls who appear on shows like “Barney.” Any resemblance between them and real kids is purely coincidental. They all look so much alike that when one disappears and is replaced by another, you barely notice. Still, a “Barney” satire is like shooting fish in a barrel. Like Kelly’s acclaimed short for Adult Swim, “Too Many Cooks,” what’s clever at the outset grows tedious as it goes on and on, rendering this “Buddy” not much of a friend at all.

Movie review

Buddy

Rated: R for bloody violence, some drug content, language

Cast: Cristin Milioti, Delaney Quinn, Topher Grace, and the voices of Patton Oswald, Michael Shannon and Keegan-Michael Key

Director: Casper Kelly

Writers: Casper Kelly and Jamie King

Runtime: 95 minutes

Where: In theaters Aug. 28

Grade: C+